Cole Tobias Johnson from Suffield, Connecticut, died unexpectedly in his home on July 15, 2021 at the age of 21. Cole was born in Arcata, California on August 25, 1999 at 9:35 pm into a loving and creative family. Cole was raised by his mother, Tobye Cook and stepfather, Khalifa Seck, along with his father, Jason Johnson and stepmother, Erin Mahon-Moore. He is survived by his brothers, Miles Johnson and Djamil Seck, sister, Sadie Mahon-Moore, stepsister, Sylvie Mahon-Moore, stepbrother, Khalifa Seck, and a host of loving relatives and friends. When he was a baby, Cole and his brother, Miles, moved with their mother and father to Northampton, Massachusetts, where they remained through his middle school years. When he was 13, he moved with his mother and brothers to Suffield, Connecticut. Cole graduated from Suffield High School in 2017.

Cole was an energetic, passionate, funny, loving soul who put family over everything. He was proud of his African American, Lebanese, and European mixed-race heritage, and was incredibly close with his “mama” and his brothers—he always looked up to his older brother, Miles, and his younger brother, Djamil, was his driving force to grow into the best man he could be. He loved going to Vermont with his 14 cousins and their families, watching fireworks while night swimming in Caspian Lake and cooking with his Gram at her bed and breakfast. He was a natural in the kitchen, and could come up with meals from nothing to feed the people he loved. One of his dreams was to open a restaurant with his mom and Miles someday—he felt alive and inspired by food of all kinds.

Cole touched everyone he met with his boundless humor, bright smile, and compassionate understanding, and poured his energy into making those around him happy and better. His long arms would wrap you in kindness if you needed a hug. He had the brightest smile, the most contagious laugh, and the very best sense of humor. He had a unique intelligence for understanding other people as an empathetic listener, and was fiercely loyal to those he believed in. He felt everything more than most humans—from the happiest to saddest things in life—and this translated into his beautifully creative side.

Cole had a great love for studying, memorizing, and writing lyrics, for creating music with his best friend, Cal McPherson, and for editing sound to create something meaningful.

He also had an outgoing and active side, with a passion for sports like basketball and skateboarding, and for traveling, as well. When in Senegal with his mother in 2015, basketball was a language he could speak with those he met who did not understand English. As a sport he played from age six through high school, he loved basketball facts, playing on travel teams starting in fifth grade, playing with Miles growing up, and then having weekly FaceTime conversations with Djamil that focused singularly on basketball. He also found healing through skateboarding, which he had recently taken back up while living in California.

Cole was the type of person who would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. He dreamed of working in a role where he could help other people both emotionally and spiritually. Those who love him do not yet know how to navigate the grief of losing him, but everyone who knew Cole knows he wishes only strength and love for us.

My Dear Cole,

I received your ashes today. I shook…I held the box that said “human remains”.

How are you remains? You are so talented. Everything you put your heart into you excelled. I’m sorry others couldn’t see it like I did. I always saw you for who you are and who you were working to become. You and Miles both know I put your inner drives, interests and creativity over what anyone else said. You are one of the most talented, creative humans I’ve known in my life. I would forget your age because you spoke, responded and answered me with such wisdom, especially this year when you were at your best.

You are in every song I hear. You are on the court with Djamil, and in the kitchen with Miles. You are with both of them in the gym shooting around. You and I both know the beauty inside them. You loved them like I love them and worried about them just like I do. Cole, I can do this without you, but my son, you are so important to us. We felt your love and it stood above all else.

I think of all the ways I could have been better. I could have worked less, came home earlier, or a variety of other things. I’m sorry that any of my actions hurt you. You felt everything and you saw my every move. The day-to-day is hard without our daily talks. I valued your comments, advice, your curiosity. I valued you infinitely.

When I had a crazy dream, I would immediately text you, even if you were asleep. My trust in you to not judge me was safe. Humor just like me. Weirdness just like me.

And your pain… with all my soul, heart and emotions, I understood you. And you knew I believed you could embrace your discomfort for pain. You knew I believed you were on your way to letting your beauty stand tall, in strength, in power, LOUDER than the sadness and loneliness that life throws at us.

You were trying to connect with a higher power. It consumed you. I have so many questions for you still and I want you to know I never ever, ever gave up on your beauty and I always saw every talent that burst through you.

I say these things not because you’re gone. While you were physically here, I saw YOU. Man, you are amazing! Anything you loved, you embraced.

I just feel your beauty. It’s always been us against the world.

I received your ashes… it felt so weird, but my darling, you are home now.

Cole, I love you more than you will ever know. I’ll never, ever stop loving you.

Love, Mama